Saturday, August 30, 2008

A-Holes at the J-Hole

"This convention, which I routinely dub 'A-holes at the J-Hole', still makes me smile because it so perfectly describes my Disdainful And Highly Scornful (DAHS) attitude towards them all because of their Complete And Utter Failure (CAUF)…"
by The Mogambo Guru
Fortunately, I was cowering in the Mogambo Big Brawny Bunker (MBBB) when I looked at Total Fed Credit (TFC) and saw that it was up by $4.6 billion last week, which is $4.6 billion in new credit that has magically appeared in the banks, created by a special little button that the Federal Reserve can push, anytime it likes, to make credit appear, either in its own account or in the accounts of the banks. "How handy!", one thinks!
What makes this so important is that this magical, out-of-nowhere credit turns into money when someone borrows it, which inflates the money supply, which will soon (after a few iterations of the economic system) make the prices of some things go up, and then make the prices of most things go up, and then finally make the prices of everything rise in a burning, incinerating general inflation as too much money chases too few goods, and money, money, money everywhere bids up prices, more and more all the freaking time, worse and worse until the society implodes because prices are so freaking high that nobody can afford to buy things or even feed their crying, whining children, and pretty soon all that incessant children's whining and crying is driving you freaking crazy, and then there is rioting in the street when prices rise like that after the money supply is allowed to increase like that!
So you can see why I spend a LOT of time in this fortified bunker, doors locked, armed to the teeth; somebody has to baby sit those damned crying kids while their parents are rioting in the streets, and it sure ain't a-gonna be me! Hahaha!
This money supply/inflation thing is important because the world's biggest collection of idiots in the field of economics (featuring the clueless academic Ben Bernanke, chairman at the Federal Reserve) are convening at Jackson Hole, Wyoming, for the big annual conference on monetary policy where they will try and come up with some new scam or scheme that will hopefully correct the problems they caused with their last scam or scheme, which predictably failed.
This convention, which I routinely dub "A-holes at the J-Hole", still makes me smile because it so perfectly describes my Disdainful And Highly Scornful (DAHS) attitude towards them all because of their Complete And Utter Failure (CAUF), an acronym that I used to see only on my Annual Employee Performance Evaluations, so you are talking to an expert of a guy who knows what CAUF really means, first-hand!
The theme of the Jackson Hole seminar this year, (and you gotta have a "theme" if you are going to sell T-shirts and coffee mugs as souvenirs!), is this week's proud winner of the coveted Mogambo Award For Sheer Economic Crap (MAFSEC). The theme and winning entry is "Maintaining Stability in a Changing Financial System"! Hahaha!
The Lex Column in the Financial Times describes Ben Bernanke's address at the Jackson Hole confab with a little disdain of his own, as he reports, "The Fed chairman's last speech - delivered, appropriately enough, in a Hole - was on 'maintaining stability'", which I gather is apparently to be achieved through keeping "Wall Street on life support until it wakes up into a nightmarish world of tighter regulation - the central thrust of his Jackson Hole address." Gaaaahhh!
This corrupt commingling of Wall Street with the banks at the control of the Fed is scary enough to warrant bringing back the Glass Steagall Act without delay and throwing Bill Clinton and Robert Rubin into prison for having repealed it in the first place.
But before I could get up a lynch mob or even mild interest in anybody, I was distracted by another part of the speech by Mr. Bernanke that is even more horrifying, as he is apparently "banking on recession hammering commodity prices enough to see off the inflationary threat posed by negative real interest rates at home and looser monetary conditions in emerging markets." Hahahaha!
I can't stop laughing! This is so bizarre, so "theater of the absurd", that my mind is stuck in laughing mode! Hahahaha!
Jim Puplava at humorously explains,"Now, if you follow the logic here, they're saying commodity prices are weakening because of slowing economic growth, but at the same time economic growth is going to go up because of falling commodity prices." Hahaha! That's exactly what they are, apparently, counting on! Hahaha!
Now I am really laughing hard that the Federal Reserve actually thinks that a spontaneous recession will offset negative real interest rates and massive growth in the world's money supply! Hahaha! I am laughing so hard that my stomach is starting to hurt and I think I might have peed in my pants! Hahaha!
Of course, everybody in the office sees my paralyzed-with-laughter condition, and they decide to seize the opportunity to steal some of the twelve color-coded staplers that I have neatly arranged on my desk, which they do just because they keep "losing" their own stupid staplers, which I say just proves that they are stealing office supplies, the thieving, lying bastards.
It's sort of like how the Federal Reserve is stealing all the buying power from our money, except that with a stapler you can at least bind two pieces of paper together, while the theft of the buying power by the Fed just makes the stapler cost more.
"Maintaining Stability in a Changing Financial System"? What a load of crap!

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