Saturday, January 12, 2008

2007: The Jeer in Review


January – (MSNBC) while attending the American Historical Association's annual convention in Atlanta, British Professor Felipe Fernandez-Armesto was thrown to the ground by eight cops and jailed for jaywalking. So where was the city's 45-member SWAT team, busy smashing in a classroom door where a six-year-old boy was committing felonious handholding with a six-year-old girl?

February – (Seattle Times) NY State Senatecrat Carl Kruger wants to fine you $100 if you walk or bike across a street while using an iPod, cell phone, Blackberry, video game or anything else that looks like an electronic device. Some libertarians suspect Kruger might be descended from the crat who wrote the law requiring a man with a lantern to walk in front of anyone driving a horseless carriage after dark.

March – (NY Times) Apparently having nothing better to do with their citizen's taxbucks, Colorado Assemblycrats chose John Denver's "Rocky Mountain High" as a second official state song, and then defended the lyrics by insisting that the "high" didn't come from illegal drugs but from (quoting State Senatecrat Bob Hagedorn) "kids pigging out on s'mores." Great. Now we'll have DEA SWAT teams busting down doors in search of illicit marshmallow and graham cracker stashes.

April – (WCBSTV) A thirteen-year-old Brooklyn girl was handcuffed, arrested and charged with "criminal mischief and the making of graffiti" for writing "Okay" on her school desk. Quoth her Mom, "I'm appalled, because here we have rapists, murderers, and you're taking a 13-year-old kid? Wasting valuable manpower to arrest a child who wrote on a desk?" Amen.

May – (MSNBC) A report from Freedom House on freedom of the press: by the end of 2006, the Iraqi government had detained at least 30 journalists, held four without charges, shut down two TV stations, threatened to close others, and banned stations from televising violent events (i.e., the news). This is the "democracy" young Americans are dying for.

June – (Patriot-News) Brian D. Kelly of Carlisle PA was arrested, had his camera seized, and charged with felony wiretapping. His crime? Videotaping cops during a traffic stop. Apparently, our public servants can record everything we do but we aren't allowed to reciprocate. The legal theory seems to be that once mortal humans are anointed as "police officers" they cease to be citizens like the rest of us and become magically transformed into eternal gods. They are no longer our protectors but our persecutors. Any wonder why more and more everyday people hate cops?

July – (Boston Globe) Americans save billions in sales taxes by buying merchandise online, which has state and fed plundercrats salivating. They want to close this "loophole" and start snorting up this line of revenue like addicts snorting up lines of coke. As libertarians know, the new loot will simply create new rounds of self-serving squandering and pocket-lining.

August
– (AP) Pat Schroeder, former Colorado Dem turned president of the American Association of Publishers showed off her arrogant slobbering snobbery by announcing that liberals read more books than conservatives because "The Karl Roves of the world have built a generation that just wants a couple slogans: 'No, don't raise my taxes, no new taxes.''' Ms Schroeder, described in an AP article as "once one of Congress' most-liberal House members," is apparently blinded by her own elitist conceit. She failed to note that the Pat Schroeders of the world helped build a generation of liberals that just want a couple slogans: "No guns, ban guns, outlaw guns..."

September – (Financial Times) Headline: "Leaders in joint bid to beat global warming." Eighty government leaders met to discuss international action on climate change. Presumably, once these hubristic Ubermench worldcrats "beat global warming" (using our taxbucks) they'll work to prohibit volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, hurricanes and blizzards, transform the Sahara desert into a Garden of Eden, ban continental drift, and put an end to that silly planetary orbital wobble once and for all.

October – (BBC News) A horde of wild monkeys attacked and killed a politician in Delhi, India.

November – (AP) "Scientists in Oregon say they've reached the long-sought goal of cloning monkey embryos."

December – (LiveLeak) CNBC reporter apologizes for calling Bush a monkey. All this and 2007 wasn't even the Year of the Monkey.

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